Soviet Steed's Liars Club

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Wildhorse Cafe
Hero of the Soviet Union - 2019
Hero of the Soviet Union - 2019
Posts: 1982
Joined: Mon Sep 08, 2014 5:28 pm
Location: King City, California

Re: Soviet Steed's Liars Club

Post by Wildhorse Cafe » Sat Aug 26, 2017 12:09 am

Snakeoil wrote:Ode to My 650 Tourist
I once bought a Ural that looked like Sasquatch.
After two weeks of tinkerin' it ran like a watch.
It had funny gear noises,and leaks in the tank.
And little did I know, it needed a crank.
But I w@$#ed it and w@*ed it and it really looked great.
Almost as good as one fresh out the crate.

I learned how to ride, and after many safe miles,
put the wife wife in the hack and got plenty of smiles.
There was lots of attention, from both old guys and chics.
But it developed a whine at about 1000 clicks.

Installed a new Denso, thinking it was the cause.
But the whine was still there, telling me much deeper flaws.
So I whipped out the wrenches and tore it apart.
Found the problem by accident. I'm a lucky old fart.

The crank had a kink,and both jugs were pitted.
The front bearing shot.
The engine self-shitted.

Called Terry Crawford to see what he had.
A short block with crank, I was truly quite glad.
Also had jugs and new piston rings.
New Herzog gears,and other small things.

Slapped her together, using all of my skills.
Wrenching is therapy. Don't take any pills.
Pushed the start button and she soon came to life.
No funky problems, no running strife.

I know she's no rocket, and her tech is quite old.
But the hole in my pocket is really quite small.
So I'm really happy with my RPOC.
I know her inside and out, like my wife says she knows me.
:thumbsup: +5
2011 Patrol, The Higgs Bison Super Collider, formally known as, the Orange and Silver Pumpkin Coach.

2013 Black Retro, Chernaya Krasota, formally known as, my name is nobody.

When you set out on your journey to Ithaca
pray the road is long , full of adventure, full of knowledge
not expecting that Ithaca will offer you riches
Ithaca has given you the beautiful voyage

C.P. Cavafy

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Wildhorse Cafe
Hero of the Soviet Union - 2019
Hero of the Soviet Union - 2019
Posts: 1982
Joined: Mon Sep 08, 2014 5:28 pm
Location: King City, California

Re: Soviet Steed's Liars Club

Post by Wildhorse Cafe » Thu Jan 18, 2018 4:25 pm

There was a barber from the Bay Subic
Who's hair cuts were artistically cubic
He was a Pilipino
moved to Mendocino
Now he cuts hairs of girls pubic
2011 Patrol, The Higgs Bison Super Collider, formally known as, the Orange and Silver Pumpkin Coach.

2013 Black Retro, Chernaya Krasota, formally known as, my name is nobody.

When you set out on your journey to Ithaca
pray the road is long , full of adventure, full of knowledge
not expecting that Ithaca will offer you riches
Ithaca has given you the beautiful voyage

C.P. Cavafy

hotflash44
Hero of the Soviet Union - 2019
Hero of the Soviet Union - 2019
Posts: 4677
Joined: Mon Mar 13, 2017 7:03 pm

Re: Soviet Steed's Liars Club

Post by hotflash44 » Fri Jan 19, 2018 11:37 am

Wildhorse Cafe, think only a Marine/Sailor from the Viet Nam era would be able to read between those lines,been there. :thumbsup: :old: :old:
2016 gear up asphalt grey, name Seryy Medved ,Air America CIA circa 1967/8 Vung Tau Viet Nam USS Tutuila ARG-4 (AND JUST A TOUCH OF AGENT ORANGE!)

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Mothra35
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Re: Soviet Steed's Liars Club

Post by Mothra35 » Fri Jan 19, 2018 1:41 pm

Wildhorse Cafe wrote: There was a barber from the Bay Subic
Who's hair cuts were artistically cubic
He was a Pilipino
moved to Mendocino
Now he cuts hairs of girls pubic
for some reason reminds my of the Parliament song

There once was a man in Peru
Who fell asleep in a canoe
He was dreaming of Venus
Pulled out his penis
and woke with a handful of goo.
--2005 Ural Tourist--"Маня"

My U-Tube
---Oliver---Оливер--- :headbang:

hotflash44
Hero of the Soviet Union - 2019
Hero of the Soviet Union - 2019
Posts: 4677
Joined: Mon Mar 13, 2017 7:03 pm

Re: Soviet Steed's Liars Club

Post by hotflash44 » Fri Jan 19, 2018 3:31 pm

are we a bunch of sick puppies or what, me included! :boogie: :boogie:
2016 gear up asphalt grey, name Seryy Medved ,Air America CIA circa 1967/8 Vung Tau Viet Nam USS Tutuila ARG-4 (AND JUST A TOUCH OF AGENT ORANGE!)

Obo Scribe
Comrade Colonel
Comrade Colonel
Posts: 426
Joined: Thu Dec 15, 2011 5:35 pm
Location: Lancashire

Re: Soviet Steed's Liars Club

Post by Obo Scribe » Fri Jan 19, 2018 3:46 pm

There was a young girl from Madras
Who had a magnificent a$$
Not as you think
Soft, round and pink
But grey, with long ears, and ate grass.
2003 750 Dalesman, 1975 CB400/4, '91 Mille GT, 2012 DL650, 91 Ducati 750SS, 1970 Raleigh Runabout . Thirty bikes in the last seven years, my missus thinks I have a bike problem. :boogie: ..
Chorley, Lancashire, England
'Oboto Sobatmas' - sponsored by Deuchars, fuelled by stupidity. http://obotosobatmas.blogspot.co.uk/

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Wildhorse Cafe
Hero of the Soviet Union - 2019
Hero of the Soviet Union - 2019
Posts: 1982
Joined: Mon Sep 08, 2014 5:28 pm
Location: King City, California

Re: Soviet Steed's Liars Club

Post by Wildhorse Cafe » Sat Jan 20, 2018 3:17 pm

Harley have all the power in the universe
But here is were the story gets quite perverse
I have no need for power
my bike is a delicate flower
My Ural can beat any Harley in reverse
Last edited by Wildhorse Cafe on Mon May 21, 2018 1:01 pm, edited 1 time in total.
2011 Patrol, The Higgs Bison Super Collider, formally known as, the Orange and Silver Pumpkin Coach.

2013 Black Retro, Chernaya Krasota, formally known as, my name is nobody.

When you set out on your journey to Ithaca
pray the road is long , full of adventure, full of knowledge
not expecting that Ithaca will offer you riches
Ithaca has given you the beautiful voyage

C.P. Cavafy

User avatar
Wildhorse Cafe
Hero of the Soviet Union - 2019
Hero of the Soviet Union - 2019
Posts: 1982
Joined: Mon Sep 08, 2014 5:28 pm
Location: King City, California

Re: Soviet Steed's Liars Club

Post by Wildhorse Cafe » Mon May 21, 2018 1:00 pm

It doesn't seem to matter if I cum
She rides me until I am Completely numb
She reverses a cowboy
Then yells, Boy Howdy!
Gets to work then calls me her best chum
2011 Patrol, The Higgs Bison Super Collider, formally known as, the Orange and Silver Pumpkin Coach.

2013 Black Retro, Chernaya Krasota, formally known as, my name is nobody.

When you set out on your journey to Ithaca
pray the road is long , full of adventure, full of knowledge
not expecting that Ithaca will offer you riches
Ithaca has given you the beautiful voyage

C.P. Cavafy

User avatar
Wildhorse Cafe
Hero of the Soviet Union - 2019
Hero of the Soviet Union - 2019
Posts: 1982
Joined: Mon Sep 08, 2014 5:28 pm
Location: King City, California

Re: Soviet Steed's Liars Club

Post by Wildhorse Cafe » Wed Jun 06, 2018 7:08 pm

My family I did kill in with a canon
and nerve agent with abandon
Those close to me
on edge don't you see
Now Trump thinks I'm Steve Bannon

by Kim Jong Un
2011 Patrol, The Higgs Bison Super Collider, formally known as, the Orange and Silver Pumpkin Coach.

2013 Black Retro, Chernaya Krasota, formally known as, my name is nobody.

When you set out on your journey to Ithaca
pray the road is long , full of adventure, full of knowledge
not expecting that Ithaca will offer you riches
Ithaca has given you the beautiful voyage

C.P. Cavafy

User avatar
Wildhorse Cafe
Hero of the Soviet Union - 2019
Hero of the Soviet Union - 2019
Posts: 1982
Joined: Mon Sep 08, 2014 5:28 pm
Location: King City, California

Re: Soviet Steed's Liars Club

Post by Wildhorse Cafe » Mon Jul 22, 2019 11:29 am

the Ural is all packed up with rod and pole
tents and camping gear I'm ready to roll
but the wife takes a look
as I'm ready to book
up the comes the question honey can I go
2011 Patrol, The Higgs Bison Super Collider, formally known as, the Orange and Silver Pumpkin Coach.

2013 Black Retro, Chernaya Krasota, formally known as, my name is nobody.

When you set out on your journey to Ithaca
pray the road is long , full of adventure, full of knowledge
not expecting that Ithaca will offer you riches
Ithaca has given you the beautiful voyage

C.P. Cavafy

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Lofty
Hero of the Soviet Union - 2019
Hero of the Soviet Union - 2019
Posts: 1461
Joined: Wed Feb 14, 2018 9:17 pm
Location: Pennsylvania, USA

Re: Soviet Steed's Liars Club

Post by Lofty » Wed Jul 24, 2019 12:14 pm

"Perchance, will be you be going for food?"
Asks Mrs. Lofty; and I don't mean to be rude,
But this heat wave has dampened my mood
To ride a motorcycle at all
Lest I start to pine for the coolness of Fall.

Nonetheless, groceries being my assigned task
And I note that with courtesy she did ask
For some salads, milk and jam
And potatoes for mashing (we pair it with ham).
I resolved to do it!
And replied to her query, "Yes, Ma'am."
Inventory:
2018 Ural Gear Up
2015 Suzuki DR650
1991 Bianchi Osprey
1952 Columbia RX-5 ('87, NOS)

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GHGoodwin
Hero of the Soviet Union - 2019
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Posts: 5143
Joined: Sun Jul 15, 2012 5:43 pm
Location: Aurora, Ohio 44202 (SE of Cleve)

Re: Soviet Steed's Liars Club

Post by GHGoodwin » Wed Jul 24, 2019 5:28 pm

Ural limericks seem quite a fad
Unfortunately most are just bad
It must be a compulsion
To translate from Russian
A language where puns can't be had
Hal

2011/12 Tourist - "The Russian"
It's a long list.
2014 Patrol - "Blackbird"

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a1930ford
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Re: Soviet Steed's Liars Club

Post by a1930ford » Wed Jul 24, 2019 5:44 pm

Ode to Snap On tools:

I looked at my tool in my box,
It was hard down there like a rock,
My girlfriend looked down and she felt all around
and i just smiled like a fox.. ... film at eleven ...
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"There is a reason Dogs do not live as long as we do. They are our resume in Heaven."
"Cheapest, most efficient and longest distance wifi in the world is prayer."

2005 Troyka "The Dog Taxi" - Wichita Falls, TX.

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Wildhorse Cafe
Hero of the Soviet Union - 2019
Hero of the Soviet Union - 2019
Posts: 1982
Joined: Mon Sep 08, 2014 5:28 pm
Location: King City, California

Re: Soviet Steed's Liars Club

Post by Wildhorse Cafe » Sat Feb 15, 2020 2:50 pm

Valentine's Day

Love is in the air
Cards flowers candy balloons
I feel coerced
2011 Patrol, The Higgs Bison Super Collider, formally known as, the Orange and Silver Pumpkin Coach.

2013 Black Retro, Chernaya Krasota, formally known as, my name is nobody.

When you set out on your journey to Ithaca
pray the road is long , full of adventure, full of knowledge
not expecting that Ithaca will offer you riches
Ithaca has given you the beautiful voyage

C.P. Cavafy

User avatar
Wildhorse Cafe
Hero of the Soviet Union - 2019
Hero of the Soviet Union - 2019
Posts: 1982
Joined: Mon Sep 08, 2014 5:28 pm
Location: King City, California

Re: Soviet Steed's Liars Club

Post by Wildhorse Cafe » Sat Feb 15, 2020 2:52 pm

Farmer's Market

Where the cats are buried
The zucchinis grow the biggest
Non GMO
2011 Patrol, The Higgs Bison Super Collider, formally known as, the Orange and Silver Pumpkin Coach.

2013 Black Retro, Chernaya Krasota, formally known as, my name is nobody.

When you set out on your journey to Ithaca
pray the road is long , full of adventure, full of knowledge
not expecting that Ithaca will offer you riches
Ithaca has given you the beautiful voyage

C.P. Cavafy

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